I take it back...

Some cottage games are exactly how I remember them.

Take croquet.

This is not cottage croquet. Look at the neatly manicured lawn, tidy wickets, smooth playing field, and lack of obstacles. Those two over in the chairs aren't even heckling!

Cottage croquet is dirty croquet, best played on a steeply sloping yard with many hills, bumps, rocks potholes, and precipices. If there isn't real danger that your ball will end up in the water, it's not dirty croquet.

Our wickets are dirty wickets.

Handy Dad lines up a downhill shot that, if he puts a little too much mustard on it, will roll straight down the steps to the dock.

This would be my red ball under the chair. Please note the captain cleverly positioning himself to prevent any balls from rolling down the embankment into the water.

Please note my red ball at the edge of the embankment. Six more inches and it would've gone straight downhill.

I'm not sure which was worse: playing downhill or playing uphill.

I think we were all relieved when Handy Dad finally won.